I’m sure you all remember the article that my virtual assistant mom wrote previously, Don’t Call ME Uncommon to Arizona. If you haven’t read it, go check it out so you get the background for this article and then see below why I say that a certain so and so should get off my feeder.

You have to be a hummingbird to LAND on a hummingbird feeder

This bird is not even a hummingbird! As a matter of fact, I have TWO Gila Woodpeckers that are brash enough to drink out of my feeder. Yes, I guess you could say that they really are beautiful with their little red dot on the top of their head; and they’re even kind of cute in their own way; however, they are big oafs compared to me and should not be on my feeder.

by .Larry Page

Creative Common License

According to Whatbird.com, Gila Woodpeckers can be a resident of southeastern California, southern Nevada, Arizona, and New Mexico. They are supposed to prefer low desert scrub with saguaro or mesquite trees for nesting. So what are they doing at my adopted mom’s house slurping all my food?

The hummingbird feeder is for a small — hummingbird!

Remember how big I am? I’m a mere 3.50 inches, and I’m a little bit bigger than some of my other friends. This big oaf that my mom calls Rufus is a gigantic 8-10 inches. Yikes! At 2.5 oz, when he lands upside down on the feeder and then tries to right himself so he can drink, he almost spills the nectar. My mom can see all this when she’s gazing out the window when she’s working and doing virtual assistant tasks like writing, transcription, and other things.

Gila Woodpeckers are supposed to eat — not drink — food.

Gilas are known to eat insects, bird eggs, fruits, and berries — blech. Do you see there anywhere where they are supposed to drink nectar specifically made for me? I just can’t, for the life of me, see why they want what’s rightfully mine. Can you? I mean, gee, just because they have a sweet tooth, and quite the sweet tooth.

Gila Woodpeckers are just plain bullies.

I get so mad at Rufus. When I go to drink out of the feeder, he actually chases me. That’s not fair. I’ve seen where he and his friend actually park in the tree in the front yard and guard the feeder so that I or my best friend can’t even get in a drink edgewise. So my mom hung another feeder thinking I and my friend could get some food and now they guard BOTH feeders. Yesterday, my mom saw both of them on the SAME feeder. Where’s the justice in that?

In conclusion, I repeat — Rufus, get off my feeder, you big oaf!
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Get more tips on increasing your knowledge in the world of VA and come see us at Borlok Transcription or at our blog Borlok VA.

Okay, so there might be a lot of things that fit this description and that are uncommon to Arizona. What I’m referring to, though, is commonly found nesting on the east side of the Mississippi River. My name is Ruby; my secret admirer calls me this because my name is Ruby-throated Hummingbird. She’s the one that is convinced that I’m not uncommon to Arizona.

Location

Reference guides out there like iBird Explorer Pro say that Ruby-throated Hummingbirds spend most of their time in the tropics. Now for the life of me, I can’t figure out why they would say that. I certainly would not call Arizona a tropic area, especially when it hits 110 degrees in the shade in the summertime.

Tiny but mighty

Remember when I said I was tiny but bigger than a bug? You see, I’m only 3-5 inches full grown and don’t weigh much at all — only about three grams — and I’m considered to be medium-sized in the hummingbird world!

I’m so pretty!

Aw, come on. I’m not being conceited. I’ve got four colors to make sure I look my best (five if you count the brown in my eyes). My forehead, crown, and nape are an iridescent green; and since I’m a male, I’ve got just the prettiest red on my throat, and to go along with the red, I’ve got a black chin. To top off my suit of colors, my upper and under tail are a dark green, and I’ve got black legs.

My mom (that’s what I call my secret admirer) calls me her favorite bird. She’s told her partner that I so thrilled her the day she was out filling the bird baths in the front yard so the other birds that I share my territory with could have a cool drink in the above-100-degree temperature. You see, she had the water running real slow in the hose to kind of get the lead out of the hose, and I went and took a good long drink. And hmmm good — it was a good long drink too. I sure was thirsty. She rued the day that she didn’t have her camera with her.

Now if only I could get listed as a common bird of Arizona. I think it’s pure nonsense that the major bird guides like iBird (http://www.ibird.com) don’t list me in either the common listing nor the uncommon listing for Arizona. After all, my secret admirer and her partner saw me, right? Don’t Call ME Uncommon To Arizona.

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Borlok Virtual Assistants has the global expert services with quality, on-time delivery that you require. We have been freelancing since 2006 and are based in Phoenix, Arizona.

Get more tips on increasing your knowledge in the world of VA and come see us at Borlok Transcription or at our blog Borlok VA.

I’m trying to work, I really am; but my feline child has her own challenges that she demands I take care of immediately.

How do you resist your feline child that lays so blissfully on your desktop helping you work. She rolls back and looks up at you with those pretty little ears, cute face, and reaching paws. No, no, little one – this virtual assistant must get to work. I have clients waiting.

There that paw goes again, reaching for the pen or chasing the cursor on my monitor. Stop that. Leave that alone. Stop being so challenging!

I sigh and return to my work, only to have her grabbing something else on my desk – a paperclip, the phone cord, or reaching into the well where my monitor sits and grabbing the mouse cord.

My challenges today, it seems, are to stop this child from being such a challenge. That’s a challenge in itself.

I evict this challenging feline delinquent to the floor and implore her to go play somewhere else. Oh my gosh, what was that crash. Gotta run! My feline sphinx’s (my pet name for her) challenges have gotten her into more trouble than she can handle.

I pick her up, scolding her the whole time, and place her back on my desk. She sighs and curls up into a peaceful little ball, no doubt dreaming about all the new and exciting challenges that my furry four-legged feline child can get into. What am I to do? I give up and let her continue with her dreams. Maybe now I’ll get some work done.

Voices can be deceiving. You call someone up on the phone and think you know who you’re talking to, right? But, do you really?

For example, I had called my Mom once. You see, she’s in Colorado. I had the number for her memorized (I thought). I dialed the number because I had some very exciting news to tell her. This is how the conversation went:

Hello?

Hi Mom. How are you?

Oh, Pam; I’m just fine. What have you been doing these days?

We must have talked for fifteen minutes, you know, the usual back and forth banter when you haven’t talked to someone in a long time. She finally came out and said are you still in Michigan?

Hmmm, I’ve never been in Michigan. Um, is this Mrs. Smith, Nancy Smith?

Well, no. Who is this?

Oh my gosh! Come to find out after exchanging details, we discovered that we were not mother and daughter at all. After totally and profusely apologizing for taking up her time, we both had a good laugh.

It made me realize that as people get older, their voices can change and become a little more raspy, deeper, more tired somehow, and how easy it is to carry on a complete conversation with someone you might not even know. It also made me realize that one should really take care to make sure they know who they are talking to so that you don’t take a chance on releasing personal information to someone you don’t know, especially in this day and time.

Another thing I learned was to not rely on memory when dialing phone numbers. One slip and look what happens. My partner could not believe that we both carried on a conversation for at least 15 minutes (she says) with a stranger and still laughs to this day.

So Mom! Mom! Is that REALLY, REALLY  you?

I was so excited today. My partner and I have two dogs – both part Australian Shepherds. Cesar Millan had a program on today where he was explaining to an owner how to keep two rambunctious super active and very inclined to do some extreme roughhousing boxers calm and submissive.

Our lesson for the day was how to straighten up, throw our chests out, and become pack leaders. Easy, right? I mean we had one of the best mentors in the world. Cesar Millan just straightens up, throws his chest out, strides toward the delinquents, points his arm, and throws out an occasional pssst! You know what? The dogs become instant obedient, well-trained pooches – I know without a doubt that he really is the “Dog Whisperer.”

All right. It’s time to practice our lesson. We take control of our beloved Aussies and stride out into the back yard. We did great! We really were the pack leaders. They were meek and mild as we went to the “play area.”

As we relax our rather over-endowed rears into our comfortable lounge chairs, we release the pack for play time. They get so rough; however, that we’re really afraid they’re going to hurt each other. We mentally rehearse how I should bring them back into a submissive mode.

Now picture this, if you can. I’m only 4’6″ tall. I straighten up, throw my chest out, purposefully stride towards the dogs, point my arm, and give a firm pssst. Caesar Milan, I swear I saw them rolling on the ground in glee. They take off at a run, knocking each other over, pushing, shoving, and just being very much the bad, bad dogs they can be. You know what else Caesar Milan? My partner and I SWEAR they were laughing at us.